Dear life,

Well, hello there. While I'm freezing in my bedroom, I started to think about my blog. Damn yeah, resolutions to write on here more often. I'm pathetic. No. I'M busy. Busy at the point where I'm barely using my computer for fun purposes. My MacBook is probably going to explode by the end of the year since I'm ALWAYS on it for school projects. Speaking of which. School. The last time I wrote on here, I think it was my 3rd or 4rth week of College. Now that I'm almost over with my first semester (WTF already jesus have mercy time is going by so fast), I can say that combining College, Social life AND work was awful. Awful for my rest. I'm barely getting 6 hours of sleep per night. Having your car, being 18 (YES FINALLY), working and College is EXHAUSTING. I now barely have time for myself, except on saturday night, where I usually meet up with a couple of friends. Working in a gift shop at Christmas Time is tiring. But I love it ! My bosses are nice, my colleagues are nice, clients are fun (most of the time.).

Yes, my life hasn't been the easiest for the last couple of months. I mean, yes, I did make a lot of new cool friends, but, I don't know.  Things aren't going exactly the way I wanted to and it's messing me up.
But, hey, I'm happy. Yay for that?

Speaking of which.

While I SHOULD (Yes, I should, but for once, it's not an obligation. I'm almost an adult, now in College, I can do whatever the fuck- excuse my language- I want) be doing some exercices to practice my French, I'm actually writing something on here. I told you guys I'd be writing more often. I thought I wouldn't have anything to talk about, but here I am, Tuesday, October 8, 9am, with my fingers running on my MacBook keyboard (making a cool clickling sound since I glued fake nails on last night. It's amazing how exciting fake nails are to me.). I have 55 minutes before my next class (philosophy... I don't get it.), and I decided it could be fun to write a post on here. It's freezing outside, I'm wearing my coat on. It's making me kind of jelling a specific someone. See, long story short, about a month ago, I started talking to this guy. I've known him for about a year, but under weird circumstances (let's say he was just my ex-boyfriend's brother), we never got to talk. We randomly started talking at the end of August, and, once again, long story short, he is WORKING in ITALY right now. This is why I said I was jealous of a specific someone. While I'm freezing my ass-excuse my language- off, he's under the Italian sun.

Well, I guess things for me are going pretty good as well. I have my drivers liscence AND a speed race car (actually it's a Yaris, nothing could be less than a speed race car, but who cares. It makes me HAPPY!!), I have a job (Associate to sales in a giftshop : Could things be more good ?), I love College (Studying in something I love more than anything), things are great with my friends (I met some many cool people with College), things are getting cool with my parents (yay!!), I'll turn 18 in 2 months (Buying your own alchool. Go out. Have fun.), I HAVE FAKE NAILS. Yes, definetly, I am way more than happy. Everything turned out so great over the last couple of months.

I can talk about it now, I guess. I've had a rough time getting over my ex, I mean, we didn't date for very long, but he was my first boyfriend and, I don't know. Forgetting was just hard. I'm still a little nostalgic about things, but won't I always be nostalgic about a lot of things in my life ? Yes. At this very moment, 9:16 am (My friend just came and talked to me - I had no choice but to stop writting this post.), I can say it out loud : Things ALWAYS get better. I'm thankful for everything that had happenned with him, but I guess I am just ready to go on with my life. WITH. MY. LIFE. Not with my love live. About that, I didn't change my mind. I don't believe in it, and probably won't for a very long time. Everything is going great, why would I want a guy to screw things up ? That would be suicidal. My best friend told me how unrealistic this was - I guess she's right. I won't be able to close my heart forever, but for now, that's what I want. My mom always told me that when you know what you want, everything is good. Well, it is.

One last thing - I've always been obsessed with makeup and hair and esthetic and beauty, but I feel like I really developped this passion over the summer. I don't go - or almost- a day without wearing makeup. I just love how creative this art -because yes, it's an art -. I'm not wearing makeup for others, I'm just wearing it because I love it. I'm not ugly without makeup, though I'm constantly joking with this. I'm spending all of my money on makeup - Useless, would say my dad, but that's one other thing that makes me happy.

And now, I think I'm done with writing. For now. I have quite a big exam this afternoon, and I want to reach 100%. So, bye for now, I guess.

Oh, and - My long long hair is making me happy as well. I am SO superficial.

Updates.

                 How could I have forgotten about this blog ?! I haven't wrote anything since the end of April. As if my life was that busy... So what's up with you guys (Whoever is still reading me. Probably no one.)? I know I've been through alot of changes. Graduating High School was so much fun ! I couldn't really realise what was going on.. I've been spending most of my time at that school during those last five years. Then, prom. It was... Exciting ? Once again, I really didn't realize how this was my LAST evening with everyone from high scool, that I would never see back most of them. To be very honest with you, I felt like a princess on that day, but the evening was kind of dissapointing. I'd been expecting prom since I was 7... And, well, one day and it's over. Maybe I had set up my hopes too high, but well. I've added up a picture on the lift. Wasn't my dress pretty?


                  Anyway. Now, september 13 2011, I've started college. Yeah, college. How can life go that fast ? I feel like at this time last year, I was nervous and anxious about my last year of high scool... I am now a proud student in  Creative Arts, Literature: Communication/Media Arts. I'm not sure yet of what I'd like to do with my life, but I still have plenty of time for that.

                   It's almost 11pm, on a tuesday night. I should really be in bed, but for some reason, I can't sleep. I've been talking to one of my friends all night long, and it's funny how well we get along. He graduated from university in the same program I'm going into (or close. I don't feel like going into details.), and we randomly started talking about that tonight. He kind of made me remember I had a blog. And I decided to get back to writing ! After all, am I not studying in a program BASED on communications ? Writing has always been on of my passions, and it they all say it, practice makes you better !


          From now on, I'll write here quite often. I swear swear swear.

Goodnight.

Don't fall in love too fast, because you always get hurt when you fall.

As much as I have been feeling lonely lately, I don't think I'm ready for love. I have now been single for almost two months, and from an outside point of view, I really think love sucks. Oh, haven't we all done it ? Neglect our friends for the one we love, spending as much time as we can with them, forgetting about everyone ? And when it's over, you see how many good friends you have. See, I knew it wouldn't last forever, because nothing does. The chick flick I am has been watching maybe too much of Desperate Housewives/Ugly Betty/Whistler/ whatsoever to believe in it anymore. No matter what, people always leave. Fortunately, there's always someone better getting in your way to replace them.

How could you make things better ? Well, by living up your life.

I haven't wrote anything in a month here. That's funny. Last time I wrote, I was kind of depressed by a stupid breakup. About a month later, I got to say how BETTER I feel. I learned alot of things about me during that month. I took some time for myself, meet up some older friends I didn't get to see in a while, party, well, enjoying my life. I think that love isn't just about when two people are in love. It also can be when they're breaking up because they both know they aren't meant for each other. We weren't meant for each other. If any of you was wondering, my ex and I are still friends. That was painful, but worth it. I realized how many good friends I had, how many didn't care, and how many really mattered and asked "Are you sure ?" when I told them I was okay. And I just wanted to say thank you. Being single is fun. I'm 17, I'm young and enjoying my life. I learned that I have been accepted into the college I wanted to get in, I'm going to dye my hair blonde again, I'm having fun.

Enjoy your life. You only have one.

..

Note to reader - This was bullshit.


You might read it, you might just forget about it, or you might just don't care at all. I haven't write anything on here in a long time. I guess I was just busy with my life. Well, it's over now. I mean, not my life, but our relationship. The "love" part is over, but I do believe that we can remain friends. I know we talked about it this morning, but I just wanted to make things clear. Why on here, well. You might as well just never read this, but I honnestly hope you will. I loved- love you. You were my first love, and nothing will never ever erase the good memories we had togheter. I still love you, just.. maybe not the same way I once thought. Don,t get me wrong - You were an amahzing boyfriend, and I was very lucky to have you in my life for, regardless the time, 4 months. And I know it's not over. Once I'll get better, I know we're going to be the best friends ever. And, don't worry - I might have erased everything about us ; the pictures, the sms, the emails-, but I know that the good memories we had will always stay in my heart. You changed my life so much, and I don,t know what to say but THANK YOU.


It might be over, but I'm not afraid that we'll both get better. If you ever read this, well, just let me know. I need some time for myself, but I swear, I want to stay friends.

je t'aime.

Note to reader - I have written this article a couple of months ago, when I was still young and innoncent. I'm now 6 months older, and I feel like it had no point. I'm keeping this article online to remind me of how stupid I can be when I'm in love, to make sure this will fucking never happen again. I'm so good by myself, now!


This one goes to the guy whom I’m madly in love with. I wish “ thank you for being there” was enough, but I’m afraid that there’s no other word or phrases that can express my feelings for you. I’ve known you for about a year now, and I feel that just saying “thank you” would not represent how much you’ve helped me. I’ve trusted you from the very beginning, and you probably know me better than anybody. To be very honest, you’ve helped be becoming the person I am now. After all what we went through, being so close again seems weird, but I’ve never felt so happy. There so many things I like about you, but just having you in my life provides me what I need. I love talking with you until 4 in the morning, I love our early morning texts, I love when you’re waking me up, I love the way you’re looking at me. Everything seems awesome around you. I LOVE YOU. You know what ? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I never ever wanna lose you.